Five Things Dying People Regret...and an antidote to prevent it from happening to you

Bronnie Ware worked as a palliative care nurse for many years.  She worked with people with who were terminally-ill from three to twelve weeks before their passing.  She got to know them intimately because of all of the time she spent at their bedsides.

When she questioned her patients about any regrets they had or anything they would have done differently, Ware found these common themes.

 
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

 

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2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that Bronnie nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men she nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.




3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

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Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

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4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It's common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you're faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end.

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5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called "comfort of familiarity" overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep down, they longed to express themselves genuinely and have real fun in their life.

When you're on your deathbed, what others think of you isn't important. 

How wonderful would it be to live the life you want, be your genuine self, let go of others' expectations and opinions and smile again, long before you are leaving this life behind?

The Antidote to Regret

• Your life is a choice.  
• Decide consciously, wisely, and honestly how you want your life to play out.  
• You can turn things around now.  Today.  
• Choose to be happy.  
• Embrace and share who you really are and take pride in your worth.  
• Let go of people who don't cherish you just as you are.
• Stop overanalyzing everything, listen to your gut and trust the choices you make. 
• Tell your family and friends how much they mean to you.  
• Express gratitude for what you have every day.  
• Give generously to others.  
• Accept compliments by saying, "Thank you."  
• Open your heart to people who are different...they want to be accepted as they are, too.

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

Sources:  Bronnie Ware , The Rose Colored Lens

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn M. King. All Rights Reserved.