Blowing bubbles and coloring books

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I was an anxious kid.  My mom kept a supply of bubble solution on hand because she knew how much I loved blowing them. I would busy myself with a small bottle of the magic liquid and blow until the bottle was empty.  Time stood still while I watched the sun make rainbow colors, and how some bubbles managed to sail higher and farther away than the others.  My anxiety floated away with the mystical orbs.

As in childhood, coloring holds that kind of alternate-universe existence today, where nothing in the world matters except creating something beautiful.  It's one of the best stress-busters I still use.

The point here is to consider what you used to do as a kid to "burn off energy":  bubbles, coloring, marbles, riding bikes, jump-rope, hula hoops...whatever works to bring you back from the edge.

To get you started, you can print this free coloring page:

Source

 

5 Tips to find "The One"

1.  Love and respect yourself first and foremost.  
If you are needy, self-conscious, emotionally and financially dependent, fear being alone, and need someone to "complete" you, then you’re not ready to love another.  The old adage, “No one [worth loving] will love you until you love yourself first” is the truth. 

You'll know you're ready to invite someone into your life when you can say with confidence (and believe it to the depths of your heart):

• I'm fabulous just the way I am.  
• I'm content with my life right now.  
• I am financially independent, and work at a job that is fulfilling. 
• I have a mutually-satisfying social network that provides me with opportunities for fun, personal growth and connectedness.  
• I don't need to have a partner to be happy, and would be fine if I remain single in the foreseeable future.  
• It would be a bonus to have someone enhance my life.

2.  List the specific qualities you seek in an ideal partner.
Write down every quality, virtue and character trait which any potential partner will be required to possess.  Be very specific about education, employment status, interests, values, personality, current marital status, does he/she like and want kids, whether you'll overlook any past run-ins with the law, etc.  This checklist is non-negotiable, and will be helpful while sizing someone up as a potential boyfriend or girlfriend.  (See Tip #4.)

 

3.  Meet as many potential partners as possible, and share your requirements and expectations on the first date.
There's no better time to lay your cards on the table than on the first date. Use your checklist to guide you in the questions you ask, and listen carefully to the answers.  Then ask what this person's needs, and decide whether you can (and are willing to) provide them...possibly for the rest of your life.  

If your date is missing even one item on your list and/or you're not comfortable with his/her expectations from you in a relationship. there's no need to pursue it any further.  Politely end the date by saying something like, "It was nice to meet you, and thank you for the coffee/lunch/dinner, etc.  It seems we're looking for different things in a relationship.  Good luck in your search!"

 4.  Don't allow physical desire cause you to lose focus.  
Avoid back-pedaling and creating "gray areas" on your list because you crave close personal contact.  Your date either has all of your requirements or not. Period. Sleeping with him/her will not change this fact.  Don't put yourself in this position, and take a cold shower if necessary. [You'll thank me in the morning.]

5.  Live your life fully during your search and after you've found The One.
When you have your own interests, friends and activities, it's important to continue them during and after finding a mate.  Remember that you are an individual first and foremost; someone's partner second.  (See Tip #1.)

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King.  All Rights Reserved.

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King.  All Rights Reserved.

Behaviors of an Abusive Partner

vimeo.com

Intimate relationships are complex.  Each partner brings something different to the table, and disagreements are part-and-parcel when two unique individuals work to carve out a life together.  Most of the time both partners feel understood, respected and loved for who they are, and in addition to enjoying time together, they are free to have friends, interests and activities outside of the relationship.  This is the type of couplehood to strive for.

This is not always the case for every couple, unfortunately.  When both partners are insecure about themselves and their abilities, fear is a common by-product.  One partner exhibits fear by being the dominant ruler; the other becomes the target of the abuse.

An interesting fact to consider about couples is--depending on their home lives as children and past relationship experiences--they can misinterpret abusive behavior as ways in which to show love.  In these cases, it's the "norm," and what they're accustomed to.

We can change that skewed mindset.  Below is a list of how abusive partners behave to manipulate and exert power over the person they claim to love most in the world. 

• Dominance:  Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession.

• Humiliation:  An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.

  

  recoveryconnection.com

• Isolation:  In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.
• Threats:  Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
• Intimidation:  Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.

  

  relationships.answers.com

• Denial and blame:  Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, alcohol, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.

Are these things happening in your relationship?  Are they happening to a friend or family member?  No one deserves to live like this.  

There is help.  

In the Capital District of New York State, call the 24-Hour Domestic Violence Hotline at (518) 374-3386.

National Domestic Violence Hotline:  (800) 799-SAFE (7233)

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn M. King. All Rights Reserved.

5 ways to earn extra $$$

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When dreaming about a much-needed vacation, a better car or paying down debt, we often wonder how any of these things could ever be possible.  With all of the bills we pay out every month, there's often not enough money in the budget to save any of it.

This information couldn't come at a better time, then!  There are many ways in which to earn extra money to put aside for that "rainy day."  Here are five to get you started.

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1. Declutter and purge your space of things and clothing you no longer need or wear.  Take them to a consignment shop (think Clothes Mentor, Plato's Closet, Fifi's Frocks and Frills or LaModa Lisa) to earn a few bucks back.

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2.  Have a garage sale.  Lots of prep work...yes.  Makes for a long day...you know it.  Potential huge payoffs...totally worth it. Recruit family, friends and neighbors to join forces so everyone wins!



3.  Become a tutor.  Apply through Human Resources.  These positions pay very well, and you can make your own hours.  Suh-weet.

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4.  Get a part-time job.  Waitressing, bartending, and call centers are excellent jobs which can put a good chunk of change in your pockets.


5.   Become a home-party representative.  Silpada, Tastefully Simple, Lia Sophia, Pampered Chef, Miche purses, etc. offers opportunities to earn a good part-time salary with very little time and money invested.

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King.  All Rights Reserved.

Stalking Defined.

hubbardhouse.wordpress.com

Definition:
Criminal activity consisting of the repeated following and harassing of another person.

Stalking is a distinctive form of criminal activity composed of a series of actions that taken individually might constitute legal behavior.  For example, sending flowers, writing love notes, and waiting for someone outside her place of work are actions that, on their own, are not criminal.  When these actions are coupled with an intent to instill fear or injury, however, they may constitute a pattern of behavior that is illegal.  Though anti-stalking laws are gender neutral, most stalkers are men and most victims are women.

calvcp.blogspot.com

Stalking is also:

• A terrorizing crime with no real identified beginning and seemingly no end;
• A crime that can cause tremendous fear without the slightest physical injury;
• A behavior with a high correlation to physical and sexual violence
• A crime that can be lethal; and
• A very effective tactic of control for domestic violence abusers.

Stalking behaviors:

Stalking behaviors can include any behaviors if they have no reasonable legitimate purpose, depending upon the context in which they are done. The acts committed are limited only by the stalker's creativity, access, and resources.

• Following, monitoring, surveillance of victim and/or victim's family, friends, co-workers;
• Disorderly conduct offenses;
• Criminal mischief, larceny, robbery, burglary, trespass, loitering;
• Forgery or criminal impersonation;
• Abusing or killing pet or other animal;
• Repeated threatening communications or attempts to communicate, especially after being clearly informed to stop;
• Violation of any order of protection;
• Crossing jurisdictions/borders to stalk/commit offenses;
• Kidnapping victim or children or threatening to do so; and/or
• Threats of suicide or homicide.

Impact on Stalking Targets:

• Continuous intense stress or anxiety; hyper-vigilance and/or all consuming fear
• Feeling vulnerable, out of control, guilt and/or self-blame
• Disruption of everyday living routines (self-isolation, move to new home or work location, change phone number and/or other contact information, change identity)
• Anger, rage, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, failure to concentrate, and/or short-term memory loss
• Somatic responses (nightmares, sleeping habits, eating disorders)
• Loss of work productivity
• Loss of trust in police and criminal justice system

What to do if you're being stalked:
Although anti-stalking laws give police and prosecutors the tools to arrest and charge stalkers with serious criminal offenses, victims of stalking have an important role to play in making these laws work. Law enforcement officials, Domestic Violence counselors, and mental health professionals offer the following advice to victims on how to stop a stalker:

Know the law.  Victims should show the police the law when filing the stalking complaint and ask whether they should first seek a protective order against the stalker. In some states a violation of a protective order converts a stalking charge from a misdemeanor to a felony.

Cooperate with prosecutors. Many stalking victims refuse to prosecute the stalker, thereby leaving themselves vulnerable to continued threats and violence. Some victims fear that prosecution will provoke worse behavior from the perpetrator. Nevertheless, victims should use the legal system and break any bond that may exist between themselves and the stalker.

Protect yourself.  Persons who are stalked should take steps to protect themselves and those around them. Neighbors and coworkers should be informed about the stalker, be given a photograph of the suspect, and be instructed on what to do if the stalker is sighted. Security officers at the victim's workplace should be provided with this information. If the stalker makes repeated land-line phone calls, the victim should ask the police to set up a phone tap.

Collect evidence. A stalking victim should collect and preserve evidence that can be used to prosecute and convict the stalker. Police suggest that the victim keep a diary of stalking and other crimes committed by the perpetrator.  It is also a good idea to photograph property destroyed by the stalker and any injuries inflicted by the stalker.  The victim should keep all letters or notes written by the stalker and all voicemails and texts that contain messages from the perpetrator.

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

Sources:
http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Stalking
http://www.opdv.ny.gov/professionals/criminal_justice/stalking.html
(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

Vernal Equinox: Spring has arrived...finally!

loe.org

The term Vernal Equinox originates from the Latin words vernalis, meaning "of spring" and equinoxium, meaning "time of equal days and nights." 

In other words, the vernal equinox is one of two times during the year when the day and night are of equal length, both being 12 hours long. 

The other time it happens is in the Fall and is called the Autumn Equinox.  This phenomenon occurs because the sun's path through the sky and the earth's equator intersect, and the sun is directly above the equator. 

Keep Calm-O-Matic

At this precise moment, exactly half of the earth is illuminated by the sun's rays and half of the earth is in darkness. This, as I said above, makes a day that has a 12-hour daytime and 12-hour nighttime.

Anywho...regardless of the scientific explanation, this equinox means Spring is here...even if the weather tells us otherwise.



Source:  http://www.brownielocks.com/vernalequinox.html
(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn M. King. All Rights Reserved.

The Shamrock: Explained.

123rf.com

In recognition of St. Patrick's Day, let's learn the history behind and symbolism of the shamrock.

The shamrock is the most popular symbol of the Irish.  It looks like a three-leaved clover.  It is the English name for it's Gaelic name of "seamrog" (pronounced "shame-rog")  dating back to 1707.  St. Patrick is said to have been standing in a field of shamrocks when he drove the snakes and toads away.  Because it has three leaves, but is still one plant, many Catholics revere it as a symbol of the Holy Trinity.

auburnymca.org

The four leaves of the shamrock are said to symbolize as follows:

Hope
Faith
Love
Luck

The first reference to wearing a shamrock on the lapel of a coat on Saint Feast Day dates back to 1681.  In the 1770's, during the time of Grattan's Parliament, the shamrock became an emblem by the Irish Volunteers.  It became a symbol of  rebellion to the degree that Queen Victoria forbade Irish regiments to wear it. 

Today, it's no longer considered rebellious to wear a shamrock.  In fact, the Irish Guards of the British Army are presented with a shamrock by the Royal Family on St. Patrick's Day.

Regardless of your birth heritage, we're all Irish on St. Patty's Day.  Celebrate well...and responsibly!

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

Source: http://www.brownielocks.com/stpatrick.html 
(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn M. King. All Rights Reserved.

Checklist for Visiting Your Dentist

portlanddentalgroup.com

When you leave a dentist appointment, do you feel as though you still have unanswered questions, misunderstood answers, and worry you're not getting a full exam to which you are entitled?  It's up to you to communicate with your doctor your need to have this important information, and your prepared questions should be welcomed.

These questions and talking points can help you have your best visit yet.  Bring a notepad to jot down the information, then, before you leave, repeat it back to the doctor to be sure you've understood.  Better yet, bring someone with you to take the notes for you.

Be prepared for your next visit to the dentist with this checklist:

X-rays:  Patients should get a complete set of X-rays every three to five years. During regular checkups—which should be scheduled every six months to a year—X-rays should be taken of individual teeth that may have cracks or cavities. Pregnant women should not have X-rays.
 

buyamag.com

Temporomandibular Joint (TMJ) Syndrome:  Clenching, grinding, or bad alignment of teeth can cause this disorder. Even if you don't notice symptoms (headaches, jaw pain), your dentist should look at your bite and feel your jaw to ensure there is no stress to the joints.
 
Periodontal Exam: Have your gums receded? Your dentist should take measurements annually around each tooth to detect any gum disease.
 
Oral Cancer:  The inside of your mouth and the glands in your neck area should be checked each year.
 
Oral Surgery:  Anytime you receive general anesthesia, an oral surgeon, a surgical assistant and another assistant should be on hand to monitor your vital signs using an EKG, a blood pressure monitor and a pulse oximeter.  Either the oral surgeon must be licensed in anesthesiology by the state dental board (the license should be displayed in the office) or there must be an anesthesiologist present.


 

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Checklists-for-Visiting-the-Doctor/3#ixzz2vfeDNKvK

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn M. King. All Rights Reserved.

Apples to Apples: 5 Tips to Prevent Comparing Yourself to Others

-Theodore Roosevelt

Members of the animal kingdom continually assess their status and how they compare to others.  

The motivation is purely one of survival.  

When a male orangutan sees another nearby, he sizes up the competition, and prepares to fight for the right to gain power and status.  If he's successful, he will mate with the most appealing female, and continue the species.  If not, he concedes defeat and retreats with a lower status in the group.

This same orangutan, however--with the keen ability to determine whether another animal is a danger--will fight to the death to protect the pack and the young'uns.  

Evaluating power, control and danger are of utmost importance to the survival of any species.

energystar.gov

Humans do this kind of sizing up, too.  Most of the time, thank goodness, these assessment skills aren't used to sense threats to one's life, property or family.  The sad truth is that humans expend a lot of energy trying to keep up with the Joneses.  In other words, comparing apples to oranges.

Comparing yourself to other people--what they have, how and where they live, who they are--is a sure-fire way to make you feel either less-than or better-than others...neither of which is a good mindset to live by.

Below are five tips to encourage you to compare only apples to apples.

1. Be kind.

The way you behave and think towards others seems to have a substantial effect on
how you behave towards and think about yourself.  

Judge people harshly and you tend to judge yourself the same way. 

Be kind to and help other people, and you're more likely to be kinder and helpful to yourself.

The more you love other people, the more you will love yourself.  Why, you ask?

Because you are OK...and so are they.

2. Don't fall into the trap of hero worship.

When you idolize people, you run the risk of feeling disconnected from them as though they have superpowers or have a charmed life that you'll never have.  You may begin to believe that someone like you could never achieve similar successes because they are so very different from you. 

The truth is they are no different.  Not better off, not worse off.  They have problems with money, relationships, jobs, family members just like you do.  They make mistakes, yell at their kids, tell lies, have arguments with their spouses and fart in bed.  

Putting someone on a pedestal or making a villain out of them creates unnecessary barriers to your dreams, goals and future...and is grossly unfair to you overall.  Openness to your own abilities and new opportunities is abundantly more helpful.

3. Realize that others will have more or are better than you at something.

Wrapping your mind around this fact of life is crucial. Life is not about competing for the most toys, the biggest bank balance or the swankiest house.  Carve your own way, in your own time, with your own unique talents.  If you can be proud of and appreciate THAT, your life will always be freakin' awesome.

4. Apples to oranges.

Whether you compare to make yourself feel better, or to create disappointment and misery within yourself, you're creating an inaccurate assessment of your abilities.  Better that you step out of that whole comparing habit because the two sides are often connected...and neither is particularly healthy or helpful.  The only person who is negatively impacted by this unfair behavior is you.

5. Apples to apples.

news.northseattle.edu

Create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself.  What improvements can you make compared to how you've done in the past?  Focus on how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you've made towards your goals.

This healthier habit has the added benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you tackled and the good stuff you've done.  And that feels a helluva lot better.

Trust me on this one.

 

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

Source:  http://www.positivityblog.com 
(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn M. King. All Rights Reserved.

Hacking into a better life #4: Apologizing

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Checklist for Visiting Your Gynecologist

cnn.com

When you leave a gynecologist appointment, do you feel as though you still have unanswered questions, misunderstood answers, and worry you're not getting a full exam to which you are entitled?  It's up to you to communicate with your doctor your need to have this important information, and your prepared questions should be welcomed.

These questions and talking points can help you have your best visit yet.  Bring a notepad to jot down the information, then, before you leave, repeat it back to the doctor to be sure you've understood.  Better yet, bring someone with you to take the notes for you.

Be prepared for your next visit to the gynecologist with this checklist:

newswise.com

Contraception:  Ask whether you're using the right form for you. For example, the pill might not be the best option if you smoke, are physically inactive, and are over 35.
 
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs):  Testing for STDs is not part of the Pap smear; ask your doctor which STDs (HIV, chlamydia, or gonorrhea, for example) you should be screened for.
 
Mammograms:  You should get one annually, starting at age 40 (earlier if you have a family history of breast cancer).
 
Pap Smear:  Ask for the new ThinPrep test, which more accurately shows cell abnormalities. Your doctor takes the sample the usual way, then dips it into a solution that breaks down the mucus, blood and inflammation that can make it hard to see the cervical cells.
 
Human Papillomavirus (HPV):  New guidelines suggest that if your results are inconclusively abnormal (called ASC-US), you should be tested for HPV strains that can cause cervical cancer.
 
Fibroids:  Tell your doctor if you've had heavier or more-painful-than-usual periods, which may be a sign of fibroids.
 
The Rest of the Exam:  Your visit should include a pelvic and rectal exam to check for signs of vaginal infections, uterine fibroids, STDs or ovarian cysts.

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

 




Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Checklists-for-Visiting-the-Doctor/2#ixzz2vfarymlD 
(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn M. King. All Rights Reserved.

Checklist for Visiting Your Primary Care Doctor

latino.foxnews.com

When you leave a doctor's appointment, do you feel as though you still have unanswered questions, misunderstood answers, and worry you're not getting a full exam to which you are entitled?  It's up to you to communicate with your doctor your need to have this important information, and your prepared questions should be welcomed.

These questions and talking points can help you have your best visit yet.  Bring a notepad to jot down the information, then, before you leave, repeat it back to the doctor to be sure you've understood.  Better yet, bring someone with you to take the notes for you.

dreamstime.com

Be prepared for your next primary care physician checkup with this checklist:

Blood Pressure:  Ask what it is and what it should be.
 
Family History:  Discuss when you should be tested for diseases that have affected family members.
 
Blood tests:  Starting between ages 35 and 40, you should have your cholesterol and blood-sugar levels checked to screen for heart disease and diabetes. Ask ahead if you need to make preparations, such as fasting before the test.
 
Thyroid Function: You should be tested if you have unexplained weight loss, irritability, irregular heart rate, insomnia or muscle weakness (all symptoms of an overactive thyroid), or fatigue, depression, weight gain, dry skin or trouble concentrating (all signs of an underactive thyroid).  Women also should have their thyroid tested every five years after menopause.
 
Bone Mineral Density (BMD): You should have a BMD test at age 65 (sooner if you are postmenopausal and have risk factors: for instance, you're thin or small boned, or you smoke or have a family history).
 
Prescriptions: Tell your doctor about any other drugs, herbs or supplements you're taking to keep your history up to date.
 
Unusual Symptoms: Describe anything abnormal—a rash, headaches, sadness, sudden weight gain or loss, fatigue.

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.

Source: http://www.oprah.com/health/Checklists-for-Visiting-the-Doctor#ixzz2vfRuRdZY
(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn M. King. All Rights Reserved.