5 Tips to find "The One"

1.  Love and respect yourself first and foremost.  
If you are needy, self-conscious, emotionally and financially dependent, fear being alone, and need someone to "complete" you, then you’re not ready to love another.  The old adage, “No one [worth loving] will love you until you love yourself first” is the truth. 

You'll know you're ready to invite someone into your life when you can say with confidence (and believe it to the depths of your heart):

• I'm fabulous just the way I am.  
• I'm content with my life right now.  
• I am financially independent, and work at a job that is fulfilling. 
• I have a mutually-satisfying social network that provides me with opportunities for fun, personal growth and connectedness.  
• I don't need to have a partner to be happy, and would be fine if I remain single in the foreseeable future.  
• It would be a bonus to have someone enhance my life.

2.  List the specific qualities you seek in an ideal partner.
Write down every quality, virtue and character trait which any potential partner will be required to possess.  Be very specific about education, employment status, interests, values, personality, current marital status, does he/she like and want kids, whether you'll overlook any past run-ins with the law, etc.  This checklist is non-negotiable, and will be helpful while sizing someone up as a potential boyfriend or girlfriend.  (See Tip #4.)

 

3.  Meet as many potential partners as possible, and share your requirements and expectations on the first date.
There's no better time to lay your cards on the table than on the first date. Use your checklist to guide you in the questions you ask, and listen carefully to the answers.  Then ask what this person's needs, and decide whether you can (and are willing to) provide them...possibly for the rest of your life.  

If your date is missing even one item on your list and/or you're not comfortable with his/her expectations from you in a relationship. there's no need to pursue it any further.  Politely end the date by saying something like, "It was nice to meet you, and thank you for the coffee/lunch/dinner, etc.  It seems we're looking for different things in a relationship.  Good luck in your search!"

 4.  Don't allow physical desire cause you to lose focus.  
Avoid back-pedaling and creating "gray areas" on your list because you crave close personal contact.  Your date either has all of your requirements or not. Period. Sleeping with him/her will not change this fact.  Don't put yourself in this position, and take a cold shower if necessary. [You'll thank me in the morning.]

5.  Live your life fully during your search and after you've found The One.
When you have your own interests, friends and activities, it's important to continue them during and after finding a mate.  Remember that you are an individual first and foremost; someone's partner second.  (See Tip #1.)

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King.  All Rights Reserved.

(c) Copyright 2014 Robyn King.  All Rights Reserved.